Zombieland vs Shaun of the Dead

You got red on you.

Today I'm comparing two great zomedies, Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland. I want to start off by saying that I love both of these movies, and they're both chock full of laughs, but there are some very important differences that make both of these movies unique. First, let's look at how these movies start off. Zombieland is set in post-zombie world. The zombies have already eliminated most of the human race, and there are very few people left on the planet, it seems. Shaun of the Dead begins with your normal, everyday activity, and the zombies begin to appear as the film progresses. Then, there's the amount of zombies in each film. Zombieland fails to deliver the vast amounts of zombies you'd expect to see in Cali, especially around the Hollywood area. Shaun of the Dead, however, boasts large amounts of zombies no matter where they are, although the amount of zombie slaughter is less prevalent than in Zombieland. Zombieland, in fact, delivers a lot more of the zombie carnage that most zombie filmgoers crave from their zombie movies.
Shaun of the Dead centers in London and most of its comedic effect comes from its brilliant use of foreshadowing, along with its character personalities. It's one of those movies that you can watch over and over again, and realize something new each and every time. In this movie, the characters seem less aware of the situation surrounding them, as the zombie outbreak seems to happen in the course of one day. As the movie describes itself as a “romantic comedy with zombies”, I find it to be more of a zombie movie with a romantic comedy tossed in. It really seems to take my mind off of the story at hand by tossing in so much action, even though there's really not much zombie killing happening. I notice it also holds true to the classic, slow moving zombie that's so rarely seen in the newer films of its genre and age. You also get much less of a world range view and more of just the settings they move through. You're never really aware of whether or not the entire world is being plagued with zombies, or if it's just London. You also don't get a blatant, in your face explanation of what caused the outbreak itself, until the end. The characters already know one another, and have connections made before the outbreak, so there's a lot less time building relationships and a lot more time establishing where they stand in accordance to one another in the beginning of the film. This film is unique in that the zombie situation is contained in the end of things, and humans regain control.

I hope that's your blowjob giving face.

Zombieland has more of a worldwide view of things, letting the viewer know that the whole earth is fucked, not just the area the characters are in. The characters don't know each other, initially, and the movie centers more around them making bonds with one another and letting the viewer know what each individual character is about. They're all very different, and it's likely you'll find at least one of them relatable in some way. The movie immediately lets the viewer know how the outbreak began and exactly what caused it. Although this film features less zombies than Shaun of the Dead, it has a ton more zombie killing and features the newer, faster zombies. Almost every zombie encountered is completely destroyed in the most satisfying way. It also features zombies in the first few frames, as opposed to Shaun of the Dead which had actions leading up to the very first zombie encounter. This movie is constantly funny because of the characters, and the characters alone. The casting seems almost perfect, even throwing in a hilarious celebrity cameo. Although this movie is full of laughs, it has its heartfelt moments. A couple even brought tears to my eyes but, in the next breath, had me laughing once again.

All in all, both of these movies are amazing watches and are enjoyable time and time, again. I would recommend both to anyone who loves their zombies or anyone who loves a good comedy. These films practice a balance of the two unseen and unheard of in any other films to date. They were both very well done and wonderfully casted. Though both films are of the same genre, they are very different from one another, but this doesn't stop either of them from being any less amazing than the other.

Shutter Island Review *SPOILERS GALORE*

 

Too bad the movie didn't suck so I could of called it "Shitter Island."

Ah, the asylum film. It should be a genre of its own. How is Scorsese, one of the supposed great American directors, going to pull this one off? One thing I love about his work is how he really choreographs the music along side of the atmospheric shots, creating an ambiance that helps you to get drawn into this world before you. The ambiance is set heavily in the first bits of the movie as you are taking a journey along side Edward (Leo) into the asylum itself. The music plays hauntingly in the background, creating a sense of paranoia. Making you feel as if maybe something isn't right here. That's why we have the detectives, though, as they try and figure out the disappearance of one of the patients here on Shutter Island, who happened to just vanish into thin air through locked doors and guarded corridors.

About a third of the movie is taken up by this search. I think this is a tad bit boring, but what gets you is the curiosity, that's what draws you in. It's a bit of a thriller with a bit of mystery dashed into it, which is done quite well. The dialogue sequences are ranging from awesome to “is that necessary?” Some of them even slow the movie down, making its flow and pace a bit humdrum. All during the investigation Leo seems to be snapping into flashbacks and having some really vivid dreams. I thought the dream sequences were the director trying to show us the psyche of a person. We've all had dreams that were vivid but a bit on the, well, weird side and these dreams are a bit like that.

Eventually the ol' cop opens up and you learn he jumped on this case to find his wife's killer. At this time there are even some signs pointing to conspiracy?! Egad Leo! Run! At least that's what some of the patients have been telling him. So yeah, the escapee is found and all is well. OH REALLY? Leo doesn't think so! So he continues to investigate before being shipped away on the ferry back to the mainland. Yeah, so they just found her like that, she was just a plot device. But for what? Que eerie music. The big break comes, though, during a terrible storm hitting the island. This storm knocks out the elictrical security unlocking the patients cells. This gives Leo a chance to sneak into the highly guarded C ward. Or, at least, you thought it was highly guarded, but he just waltzes in like it's nothing. Up comes my favorite part. The part where they are approaching the ward. They slowly walk through a darkened room with a flickering light. In the background, screams and cries from the violent prisoners being held inside echo through the halls, awesome stuff. So, Leo ends up playing some tag with one of the escaped patients and then he catches up to him only to start getting the shit beat out of him. I'm not sure the purpose of this and that whole scene seemed pointless, but Leo ends up turning the tables then choking the shit out of this dude. I think this was all to prove a point of how violent he really is, which he denies completely. He just wants some peace.

Now, the last half is the tying up of the plot, filling in your loose ends. Leo runs into someone that he supposedly knew in the past. The guy, who he thinks is his wife's killer, turns out not to be. He tells him that this is all just one big game and he needs to watch his back before getting hurt, or worse, taken to the dreaded lighthouse. This causes Leo to investigate and find the REAL woman who escaped. So, this place is fucking with him? She explains that they are cruel military men who are trying to find a way to control the human mind and they needed new brains. Apparently, anything Leo consumed while being there is a nerve agent, making him a ticking time bomb. Now our “hero” must finally find the truth! He goes all commando, blowing up cars, knocking the fuck out of guards, and going straight to the top. This is the twist, you ready? HE IS REALLY INSANE! At this point I kind of figured this out. This is the bad part about the asylum movies, this is the twist to expect and is kind of, well, cliche. So, Leo is really his wife's killer, the escaped woman wasn't real, and this whole cop/detective bullshit was an elaborate role-play to help Leo stop denying the truth. Still, the movie was pretty good, cliches included. I wouldn't go see it again because the mystery is over and that's really what was keeping my interest. Oh and also if you haven't seen the movie and read this you might as well go see something else, sorry!

Final score: 8/10

 

Upcoming

 

Cool zombies, bro.

Coming soon by the lovely Flick Chick is her comparison of  the zomedys. If you don't know what a zomedy is it's the genre that really took off with the release of Shaun of the Dead, though they have been around before that. The Flick Chick is going to be comparing the UK zomedy hit Shaun of the Dead against the US zomedy Zombieland! Who will win? Tune in and find out!

The Crazies Review

 

You ready to ruin some classics?

Congrats, Michael Bay. You rank up there with Uwe Boll. You two are like the shit stains of the movie world. You constantly find work, only to fuck up and tarnish beloved names. Bay is the lucky one who gets to fuck up all the horror classics. It's a scam, almost. They know you're going to see these remakes of classics we know and love, so that's at least going to garner some kind of movie sales. It just seems as if there is no love in these things. There is no love for the movie they direct. It's just a cluster fuck of whatever works. Any who, rant aside, let's continue.

The first thing wrong with this movie is seeing “PRODUCED BY MICHEAL BAY” at the beginning. Whoa, is it too fucking late to abort mission and get my money back? Knowing I had to review this for the loyal readers, I pressed on. First off, it shows the future outcome of the small town in the first frame of the movie. Why? That's like me showing Mufasa being killed in the first second of the Lion King. Then, it goes back two days earlier to peaceful Ogden Mills. This place is friendly! Everyone knows each other and there ain't no wrong doin' 'round these parts, boy. Until some asshole decides to waltz into a baseball game with a shotgun. The cops take for fucking ever to react. I can tell this is a very well run town. How I wish I could live in Michael Bayville! Any who, the dude, the lulzy town drunk, gets dropped for being a douche bag. Now, this peaceful town is getting stirred up and it looks as if there are more and more bizarre crimes happening.

Now, we start seeing a little explanation towards these strange crimes. Oh, did I mention there is some annoying ass big brother type thing going on in the background every now and then? Stupidddd. Apparently a huge ass military plane carrying a biological weapon (virus) crashed into their water supply and no one fucking noticed it. Even more stupid. Don't worry there are a lot of “durrrrrRRrrrR” moments in this movie. Well, now sheriff ramrod wants to shut down the drinking water, but mayor fat fuck wont let him. He's so crooked! This is all we'll see of him, so we can't really hate him. So, yeah this is when shit hits the fan and people start disappearing from Michael Bayville. It doesn't take long for the army to show up and wrangle up all the people like cattle. Sheriff Ramrods wife sets off the thermometer they're using to check people for infection, but the dumb bitch is simply pregnant. But, you know our dumb military. In fact they are so fucking dumb that this whole military quarantine is able to be thrown to a halt by a pick up truck full of red necks! WOW, WAY TO KEEP CONTROL! I know, movie, you need a way for all hell to break loose, but fuck, come on! A pickup truck?! You're telling me that the military in this movie, the same military with FUCKING FLAMETHROWERS AND MISSLE LADENED HELLICOPTERS IS BEING TERRORIZED BY A PICK UP TRUCK!?!?!!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sheriff Ramrod escapes and somehow saves his wife from this whole town full of blood thirsty monsters. Let's not go into too much detail, but there is a lot of walking and moral bullshit at this point. The movie had no clue what it wanted to be. Is it a horror movie? Is it a thriller? Is it a drama? Is it an action flick? No clue, but the whole of this movie didn't do a good job being any of those. At no point was I on the edge of my seat. At no point was my heart racing to know the outcome. I didn't even jump once! I felt no emotion towards this movie except “When the hell is it going to end?” It had some potential, I won't lie. There were a few eerie looking atmosphere scenes, but they were scarce. There was also very limited amount of time with the infected. This movie needed work. It needed a new director and a new producer. But, I'll hand it to the actors, they did well and it wasn't their fault the writing was shitty. So, The Crazies is a movie that just falls short. If you are bored, go see it matinee style, or just go see 28 days later and save a buck.

Final Score: 5/10

Book of Eli Review

I'm a soul man! Get it?!

Pros: Very cool story, great post apocolyptic theme, great protagonist. 

Cons: Closed minded folk may belittle this film, some of the acting was a bit bland, you need a lot of faith to believe some of what goes on.

I'm going to admit it, I love post apocalyptic themes. It ranks up there with zombies. I have no clue why, but I am totally anamored by them. Does this cause any bias? Possibly, but I think as long as you are open minded you'll agree this is a pretty awesome movie.

If any of you have played Fallout 3, it will seem all too familiar. There were scenes of dialogue where I just felt like I should be picking out what Eli was saying from below the screen. The movie did have a bit of an artsy feel to it, which kind of made me nervous because I couldn't sit through two hours of art film, sorry art kids.

Now, some of the actors could've been replaced, I think I could've done better! The cliches are pretty strong here, but pay a little homage to A Boy and His Dog in there. I think this might be a way for the director to poke fun at the cliches they're using. The action was pretty mediocre, but I'm glad they didn't jam constant action down my throat. Well played Eli, well played.

I don't want to spoil this little film for you, at all. Just go in with an open mind and you'll find a pretty pleasurable experience. Hell I would have even payed normal ticket prices to see this and I'm a cheap bastard. Just enjoy the badass Eli and the little adventure he takes you on. The ending is going to either shock you or piss you off, but at this point I was so immersed in the film that I didn't care.

Final Score: 9/10

Opening This Weekend

 

Looks like Fallout to me.

The Crazies is a remake of the 1973 George Romero movie about a small town that gets hit with a strange virus causing them to go crazy. There are no zombies in the movie, but it's practically the same idea of a zombie flick. Think of it kind of like 28 days later, that these people just have an insane amount of rage. This was Romero's first film and the remake is sure to bring in a few fans to the Romero cult. That is, if it doesn't suck, but with the recent remake craze I have yet to see one that doesn't suck. Please movie, prove me wrong. 

I'll be going to see it this weekend and will, hopefully, have a review up for it next week.

Survival of the Dead

Another soon to be classic from the great zombie movie writer and director, George A. Romero. This movie seems to center around two families in a sort of feud, if you will. On the one side, we have the O'Flynns, a family that believes all zombies must be destroyed, regardless of if they were loved ones or not. On the other side, we have the Muldoons, a family that decides it is best to keep their loved ones “alive” until a cure is found. These families reside together on a seemingly peaceful island that is quickly becoming infested with flesh hungry zombies.

This movie poses a great question: Should feelings be null and void when dealing with zombies? In most of Romeros other films, this is not a question. This is how things are. Zombies are killed, relentlessly, regardless of who their former selves were. This new scenario leaves you, the viewer, a choice. Would you shoot mommy and daddy point blank if they were coming at you with those dead eyes? Or would you chain them up in the tool shed, lovingly, until a possible cure was found?

Personally the cure would be too big of an “if” for me, and my extreme hatred of zombies would completely rule out any other feelings I may have had for the beasts that were my family and friends. Sorry, guys, but that's the way it has to be. I can't take any chances of becoming your next meal.

This movie hits theaters May 28^th, 2010, but is available on VOD, Amazon and Xbox Live starting April 30^th, 2010.

Coming Soon

Hopefully this movie will be in my mailbox tomorrow when I wake up. The premise sounds great and I'm quite excited to watch this one. I've got some other old horror stuff coming in the next week or so including 'I Spit on Your Grave', a double feature containing 'Star Creatures' & 'Invasion of the Bee Girls' and 'The Crazies'. Should be a good movie week!

What is everyone else watching?

I guess I should also mention that I'm surprised it's taken so long for a company to churn out 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' remake. Ugh. How shitty is this one going to be? Hollywood did a stand-up job of screwing up 'The Last House on the Left' and 'The Hills Have Eyes'. I wonder how much Wes Craven gets paid to pass these classics off to an industry that seems to be incapable of coming out with good horror movies anymore?

Shitty Remake Alert!

I swear, remake is another word for "shit."

What do you get when you have a director whose list of movies consists of nothing but music videos and such? Nightmare on Elm Street 2010! Fuck asshole, do you know what you have done? You are taking a classic and trying to modernize it. You are taking a well known horror icon that scared the fuck out of all of us growing up, and you're trying to modernize it. I, for one, am sick of these shitty fucking remakes and would like to see some originals. Isn't anyone else sick of having classics just shit on for a buck? Sadly, I know I will be in theaters watching it, but only on MATINEE! YOU WILL NEVER GET MY FULL PRICE, ASSHOLE!

Anyway,  there is rumor of a new trailer coming up on the official Nightmare on Elm Street website. Is it going to be worth watching? Probably not. You know how trailers make everything seem soooo much better. It's like the fat girl camera angle you see on Myspace. Oh yeah, I went there.

Click here to see the trailer mentioned above.

First On the Agenda: Black Christmas

So having tight skin is a bad thing now?

The 1974 movie that turned that loving Christmas feeling into a psycho slasher festival. This is one of the originators of the holiday horror movie and many more will follow in its footsteps.

FUN FACT: The director of this movie would later go on and direct "A Christmas Story."